Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

19

Oct

Started reading ‘Splitting the Difference’ yesterday and while I’m by no means a ‘sap,’ I started weeping on page two. Alberto’s ‘Sit with me?’ line just about destroyed me. That simple description evoked a more visceral emotional response than anything I’ve read in quite some time. I could say a lot more as I relate to your story very deeply, but for now, I just want to thank you for sharing such raw, achingly beautiful work.
— Tim, New York City

18

Oct

The universal symbol of Mercury in retrograde? 

The universal symbol of Mercury in retrograde? 

10

Oct

10/17: Unofficial Tumblr Caffeine Meet-Up

image

Coffee + books are the daytime equivalent of wine + art, so if you’re in the Flatiron area next Fri. 10/17, stop by Keurig’s pop-up shop. I’m there from 11am – 12pm with my publisher and fellow NYC authors. Free gourmet coffee, book giveaways, celebs you’ve never heard of…and obvi, if you already own a copy of “Splitting the Difference,” bring that thing along + I’ll inscribe it. 

09

Oct

Splitting the Difference: The TV Series

image

Discussing my memoir as a TV series with Eva Longoria last spring seemed like a thing that happens to other people…to other writers.

Even when the option from Universal TV came through, I quietly shared the news with immediate family because yeah, options don’t always turn into shows.

Only when ABC signed on for the pilot and attached the writer Kat Coiro did I begin to whisper the news with cautious optimism.

But today, the studio officially announced the deal and included the cover of my book with headshots of Eva and Kat. As of today, a thing I’ve hoped and prayed for—a dark comedy about me, Laurie, Alberto, and Hilda—is actually happening. 

30

Sep

What Does Good Grief Look Like?

image

Given the chance for a do-over, I would choose Alberto’s life over my published memoir and TV series now in development. I loathe that I found my voice only through losing him, and yet the idea of nothing positive coming from his loss would be far more dismal.

I didn’t immediately realize that the manuscript I started a few weeks after his death would become my grief therapy and gateway to a new career. I started writing because drunk-dialing the same 10 people ceased to be a comfort but I needed somewhere to go with my memories and regrets. In the five years since, I’ve discovered that grieving can be a freeing, creative act. Through writing, blogging and speaking about my grief, I am able to absorb my loss. Alberto’s life and death have become part of my own narrative, life and purpose.

On this journey, I’ve encountered people whose grief has motivated them, instead of destroyed them. Here are six of the many individuals who have given their grief profound expression and purpose. They’ve achieved goals — running for office, premiering a movie, starting a foundation — that are common to the bucket lists of many young Americans. And the common link between these people and us? Loss.

Read More

A long weekend amid Napa’s vignettes + vintages could be my favorite reset button for the rush of New York.

A long weekend amid Napa’s vignettes + vintages could be my favorite reset button for the rush of New York.

27

Sep

What happens when you fly across the country + text friends you haven’t seen in 4 years? Boozy Bouchon lunch in Napa 3 hours later. 

What happens when you fly across the country + text friends you haven’t seen in 4 years? Boozy Bouchon lunch in Napa 3 hours later. 

23

Sep

The NYC Ballet Fall Gala: the purple carpet, the celebrities, the world-premiere ballets. (The ‘what-not-to-wear’ lists that will probably include us.)

The NYC Ballet Fall Gala: the purple carpet, the celebrities, the world-premiere ballets. (The ‘what-not-to-wear’ lists that will probably include us.)

19

Sep

Friday-Shaped Heart (Chelsea, NYC)

Friday-Shaped Heart (Chelsea, NYC)

14

Sep

That drink you spilt all over me (doesn’t even matter when I’m seeing Lorde live on the Hudson River). 

That drink you spilt all over me (doesn’t even matter when I’m seeing Lorde live on the Hudson River). 

08

Sep

Cowgirls + Dandies at Dollypalooza (Brooklyn)

Cowgirls + Dandies at Dollypalooza (Brooklyn)

04

Sep

This room full of gingers is making a handsome case for orange as the new black. (Bosi Gallery, Lower East Side)

This room full of gingers is making a handsome case for orange as the new black. (Bosi Gallery, Lower East Side)

02

Sep

Squeezing summer’s last 20 days for every beach day, bike ride & water sport I can. 

Squeezing summer’s last 20 days for every beach day, bike ride & water sport I can. 

26

Aug

Seashells and driftwood mark the spot where I spread ashes and flowers in the sea today. The beach in Far Rockaway may not be Paradise Point in San Diego, but I’m pretty sure Alberto would’ve preferred my topless bikini today to my wedding dress in 2005.

Seashells and driftwood mark the spot where I spread ashes and flowers in the sea today. The beach in Far Rockaway may not be Paradise Point in San Diego, but I’m pretty sure Alberto would’ve preferred my topless bikini today to my wedding dress in 2005.

Ghostwriting

On the eve of my anniversary, I am not frantically making back-up plans for August 26 or watching our wedding video on loop through wine goggles.

Tonight is all about the midnight deadline for an essay about me and Laurie commissioned by Red magazine in the UK. Lotsa last-minute swapping of “realized” for “realised” and “truck” for “lorry” because audience. It requires my AP Style Book, which for no good reason is hidden deep in a desk drawer atop a nondescript black notebook. And hey, I could actually use that notebook for a client meeting later this week.

Except the black notebook ain’t empty.

The handwriting alone would give me pause, but the three lines of cursive words I encounter are so uncannily timed that I quickly carry the notebook out of the office.

If I read any further, time will become fluid and irrelevant.

If I read any further, I won’t file the essay on time.

image

Essay officially filed, I can now indulge in circular questioning, right?

As in, how do I not remember receiving this anniversary book from Alberto?

Also, how did it hide for eight years?

And, more importantly, what does the next page say?

image

Fuck yeah! More please. 

image

Suspense. Is. Killing. Eating. Me. Here’s a little book of..what?

image

Oh, fuck the fence: is this…for real?

(Why did you shove this in a drawer, Tré? How could you shove this in a drawer?)

Feeling like a textbook widow right about now—seriously, you took romantic gestures like THIS for granted?!—so yeah, moving along.

To…?

His collection. Of reasons.

  1. I married you because you are, by far, my favorite.
  2. I married you because you became my favorite all too easily.
  3. I married you because I knew you were full of shit!
  4. I married you because I also knew you weren’t entirely full of shit!
  5. I love you ‘cause you’re cute, even without putting your “face” on.
  6. I love you because you fell for me as I fell for you.
  7. I love you because you looked back.
  8. I married you because you were able to make me fond of places I once hated.
  9. I love you because you took as big a chance on me as I was taking on you…

And No. 10…

image

Apparently, it IS possible to fall in love all over again on your anniversary.

Even with your dead husband.

‘Scuse me while I swill some wine and watch my wedding video.